BLOG: Travelling With One of My Good Friends Almost Ruined our Friendship
A friend has just come back from an epic adventure. You expect them to tell you about all these crazy stories they experienced while abroad. To your shock, they tell you that they had the worst time and that it was because the friend they travelled with made their trip hell. They tell you the trip impacted their friendship and they are no longer on speaking terms.
This is a story I have heard on the rare occasion but took with a grain of salt. "Surely they mustn't be that good of friends if they let a silly quarrel ruin their friendship", I'd often think to myself. When a friend proposed the idea of us taking an adventure together, I immediately lept at the idea. Little did I know of was what to come.
They say you don't know a person until you travel or live with them. Now I believe this is not just a true statement but, after this experience, an understatement.
Off we went on our adventure and the trip started well. As we were travelling with other people whom we didn't know, we engaged in small talk with them before gradually becoming more comfortable and getting to know them better. This is where the trouble began. My friend kept making remarks to our travel companions which were disguised as insults to me. Remarks like "she's so shit at directions" and "she just can't do anything right, she's so stupid". Usually, my friend and I have good banter so initially, I passed it off like this. But, as the trip went on, the insults didn't stop and I realised there was a more sinister intent behind them. It got to a point where I had to physically remove myself from the situation as it was becoming too much for me. And instead of my friend asking if I was okay, it was our travel companions who did. It seemed my friend was completely oblivious to their behaviour. Our travel companions also noticed the consistent insults and, frankly, weren't impressed. I had to try and convince them that my friend is a good person normally, but they weren't buying it.
After the trip ended, I realised I needed to confront my friend, something I hadn't done before as I hadn't been in this situation with them. I was incredibly nervous, as I wasn't sure how my friend was going to react and if our friendship could recover from this. But, I put my big girl pants on and did it anyway.
We both walked away from the conversation realising that if we had communicated our feelings all along we probably wouldn't have gotten into this situation. My friend revealed that they were going through some personal stuff and didn't realise that the comments were coming across as insulting. I revealed that I didn't appreciate the comments and found them to be very hurtful. In the end, my friend apologised and I forgave them.
We made amends, and while we're good friends again, I'm not sure if I will travel with them again.